Sagt i amerikanska rätten...

#1 - 24 januari 2005 15:26
En gammal goding det här, men lika kul ändå. Gillar speciellt den sista knorren :D

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and
are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_______________________________

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
_____________________________________

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke
up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo
or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy.
______________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.
Kjell Fohrman
Administrator
#2 - 24 januari 2005 15:34
Ja den sista var absolut bäst:D
#3 - 24 januari 2005 15:42
HAHAHA :D

Man kanske valde fel yrke. Verkar lite roligare att sitta i rättssal :)
Kjell Fohrman
Administrator
#4 - 24 januari 2005 15:59
[QUOTE=Gimbo]HAHAHA :D

Man kanske valde fel yrke. Verkar lite roligare att sitta i rättssal :)[/QUOTE]
Roliga historier händer nog i de flesta yrken - problemet är väl bar att man lätt glömmer bort dom.
Själv skall jag på nästa GAF-möte berätta ett antal roliga historier om vad jag råkat ut för på mina fiskresor.

Här är en sann historia om vad som hände när jag hade affär

Det var en lördag och lång kö vid kassan. En kund kom så småningom fram till disken och talade väldigt omständigt (väntande kunder i kön bakom blev lite irriterade) om att han hade väldiga algproblem i akvariet. Så småningom talade han om att han trodde att det berodde på att det det var något fel på timern och han bad mig titta på den.
Det visade sig att varannan "tagg" var ute och "varannan" inskjuten vilket innebär att ljuset tänds och släcks var 15:e minut. Jag förklarade felet för honom och ställde in timern rätt. Folk bakom i kön började le och någon enstaka fnissade lite över okunnigheten. Kunden blev mer och mer generad och för att "släta över" det hela drog han till med. Ja, ja jag vet nog hur timern funkar och den fungerade perfekt innan, men det blev något fel när den skulle slå över till sommartid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Varvid INGEN i kön kunde hålla sig utan brast ut i gapskratt - lite synd om kunden förstås, men alla vi andra kände oss lite gladare till sinnes
#5 - 24 januari 2005 16:04
*asg* :D
#6 - 25 januari 2005 00:13
Underbara historier Lenita och kjell!











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